San Francisco Bay Area + Napa Wedding Photographer Kirsten Julia

One of the hardest things that I’ve gone through recently was losing my best friend. Not for the fact that I loved him and wanted to spend my “forevers” with him (even though that hurts too), it was for the fact that I lost the person who I thought was my partner in “crime” and my adventure companion. I will never understand why it was so easy for them to turn away from that when I gave them the best of me. Yes, endings can get messy, and people act and say things that may not be meant due to a broken heart, but to walk away from me completely for no good reason is the worst feeling.
It’s the only thing that is really hard to move on from. I know one day I will meet the right person who may never replace what I had, but will surpass it in a different way. A better way. I keep thinking about the movie Practical Magic when Sandra Bullocks character as a child creates a spell for her true love…

Of course I have my own “wish list” bouncing around in my head (just not as strict about the eye color thing, although that would be pretty neat!).
While my brain does it’s usual “running a million miles per minute” I’ve thought about lot of things that I look forward to. For example, I look forward to apartment hunting in Temescal/North Oakland, and having my own place again. No roommates except for 2 dogs and a cat (yes, I’ve even gone and thought about what to name these extra animals… francis [dog] and waffles [cat]). I look forward to making the place my own. Decorating it in a glorious way that might make all my friends envious and want to have game nights at my place instead. Drinking too much coffee at all the coffee shops I always wanted to try, eating at all the places I miss (Patxi, Saturn Cafe, Great Wall, and all the frozen yogurt joints!), getting my circus tattoo (you’ll see one day!), traveling all over California, visiting friends in L.A., and going on road trips galore. I could go on and on, but its better to one day show everyone through photos.
I blame Pinterest for most of this dreaming (well, everything regarding my home and fashion).

At least another bonus to all this is I’ve had enough time to remember who I am. What makes me unique. Some things I had forgotten for months, and others for a little bit longer. I can’t explain why, but all I can do is learn and try to not make these mistakes again.
Maybe one day soon I’ll share my “Who I Am” list. Maybe that’s my next step.

I just wanted to point out and make it known in a quick short post that I had to get a new phone due to a few complications & spamming, so if you want to contact me please reach me by
e-mail and I will send you my number!